NASDANQ Names New Chief Executive; Board Reportedly “Very Bullish”
NEW YORK — The NASDANQ Meme Exchange today confirmed the appointment of a small green-hatted gnome as Chief Executive Officer, effective immediately. The executive, who has not provided a name, a résumé, or a last name, was found already standing at the podium when staff arrived.
“He pointed at the board and everything went green,” said one floor trader, who asked not to be identified because he was crying. “We just kind of… let him keep doing it.”
The gnome’s first act as CEO was to list $NASDANQ, the exchange’s own coin, directly against the Nasdaq-100 via QQQx. Analysts note this makes it the only memecoin in history whose chart is denominated in the index it is parodying. Trading fees, the exchange confirmed, are paid back to holders in QQQx. “Dividends,” the CEO reportedly called them, before pointing upward again.
Asked for comment on macro conditions, the CEO pointed upward and said nothing. Markets rallied.